Thank you for kind messages and questions about how I am, I very much appreciate them all.
I really haven't been in a good place. My unhappiness at losing my job has been made worse by a lot of uncertainty about my future, I found being made redundant mirrored a lot of the unhappy feelings of rejection that caused me to overeat in the first place and sadly my eating has been dreadful as has the blow to my self esteem that I had thought was stronger.
I think, cautiously that things are looking up. I have been offered a temporary 12 month role at the airport and also offered a system where I will be considered before advert for any jobs that come up in the next 12 months to help me find a permanent job.
There has been a huge row between my current team and my new manager both wanting me to be in their department now ..my job claiming they cannot release me just yet and the new role demanding that they do and both refusing to budge. Being fought over has help restore self esteem as it negates the bad feelings of not being wanted that redundancy brings.
I had just got into a size 12 and a couple of months terribly off plan and I was back to a 16. Every night I would tell myself to stop this rot and get back and every day I didn't seem able to. However about 10 days ago I got back with my plans and already I can see the excess coming off again and I'm making progress back to where I used to be.
I feel better and happier about things but I realise this is still very fragile and I need to work hard, and focus. I have left the gym I am a member of as my new work hours don't suit getting to it and I have joined a gym next door to work and I'm going to replace running at lunchtime in my old job with going to the gym on the way into my new job. I'm regaining control and with it, self esteem. When things are going well you believe you are going to stay strong forever and it only takes a knock to realise how fragile but how precious this new life is.
I am not prepared to lose it and just have to keep on going until I'm back where I was. I need your help and support and very much appreciate it.
That New Eating Plan...
15 hours ago